5 minutes!

When we know that we have 5 minutes left to do something whether it’s to finish a task close out a game or just to make it to a destination on time, we realize that 5 minutes isn’t much time at all. But if you’d put those 5 minutes to good use then they can be the best 5 minutes of your day. In a close football game they don’t consider the game over with 5 minutes remaining so therefore they practice the ‘2 minute drill’ in basketball a close game comes down to the last second so 5 minutes can last a while. At a job we take the last 5 minutes to gather our things and clean up the clutter that we’ve taken 7 hours and 50 minutes to accommodate during the day.  In school taking a test we take the last 5 minutes finishing up or reviewing our answers. Goggle has a list of 21 things that you can do in 5 minutes, I’m sure that you can find a couple to apply to your daily life.

1. Answer 5 emails.

2. Return a phone call.

3. Read a few pages of a book  (on you phone or ipad.)

4. Tell someone how much you appreciate them.

5. Listen to someone tell you a story.

6. Write in your journal.

7. Pay someone a compliment.

8. Do a favor for someone (Even a stranger.)

9. Review your calendar.

10. Affirm your goals. (They should be written down.)

11. Listen to a motivation song. (I recommend K-Love.)

12. Check your todo list. (If you don’t have one then make one.)

13. Clean your workspace.

14. Go for a walk, around the workplace.

15. Text someone just to say you love or miss them.

16. Do a quick task. (Or even a couple.)

17. Delegate an item that you have been holding up.

18. Slow down and catch your breath.

19. Add a new number to your address book.

20. Do some preventative maintenance. (Before there is an issue!)

21. Enjoy where you are… you will never be in that exact moment again.

The UD (Unit director) (manager) where I work does #4 everyday that he works, he never leaves without thanking all the employees that are working and how much he appreciates them. “Thanks Steve”. I do #11 on my way to work each day, and #14 when I get to work making sure that I greet each employee that’s working. I find myself having to do #18 quite a few times some days if I had to recommend the most important thing from this list it would be this. I’ll have to make this  list 22 things to do in 5 minutes and #1 would be to pray, preferably the first 5 minutes of the day, but of course the last 5 works also just get it in at some point during the day. We all have the same amount of time in each day, and we all can make more of the time that we have. It’s all about not letting the life’s little moments slip by. Your 5 minutes begin now, what’re you going to do with it? (Guess what it probably took you 5 minutes to read this.)

 

 

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My tribute to ‘Mama Ann’

I’ve been procrastinating about writing this for a week or more now, God has put this on my heart but I’d kept saying that I’d do it tomorrow and then I’d do it tomorrow. So yeah, yesterday God gave me a ‘gentle reminder’ that I should do it TODAY. Now if you know anything about God and his ‘gentle reminders’ it means that you’ll not likely get another chance and your next thoughts would be “why didn’t I do that when I was thinking about it?” Anyhow this is a tribute to a dear friend of mine and I’m sure to many of you reading this. Ms Ann Smith-Berrier ( known to many as ‘Mama Ann’ ). This dear woman has been a friend of mine for many years as a matter of fact I knew her before I actually knew that I knew her. I know that this may be a weird statement to be declaring but it’s the truth, you see when I was a boy the foster parents ( Harold and Mrs. Bessie Hairston ) that I was blessed to move with lived in Tyro and I went to Tyro school for a little while. ‘Aunt Bessie’ was a custodian at the school and after we picked her up from work in the afternoons we would oftentimes stop at the Holiday Store across the road from the school, well unbeknownst to me Ann’s family owned this store, and even though us boys weren’t often allowed to go in the store, there were a few times that we were permitted to and I’m sure that there were occasions when a young Ann was probably there herself. I know that you’re most likely saying get to the point, what’s this about yeah yeah we know ‘Mama Ann’ so what? Well “so what?” is because I believe that this wonderful person should have ‘her flowers’ while she can smell them receive her prides while she can hear them and have her tribute written while she can read it. Last week when I saw the post from her daughter that she had been hospitalized, and I was thinking the worst that’s when I realized that this wonderful person that has been my friend for so many years wasn’t going to be here forever. That’s when God put it on my heart to be the one to let her know just how much her friendship has meant to myself and I’m sure that I can speak, ( write ) for so many others.
I had the pleasure of meeting ‘Mama Ann’ when I was a young man and she came to work at Winn Dixie, from day one she became a ‘Mama’ figure to many of us young people working there ( and even a few that wasn’t as young ). I was newly married and had a baby boy whom she immediately fell in love with and she would often buy gifts or make priceless crafts for. Not only did she do this for mine but for anyone that would have a baby while she was working there. And not only did she spoil our kids she would often give out ‘motherly’ advice to the many of us young people ( and also to some that wasn’t so young ). We all also got to know her husband Gary and her daughter Angela whom we got to watch grow from a beautiful little shy girl into a beautiful young woman. After I left my job with Winn Dixie I had the pleasure of often seeing ‘mama Ann’ Gary and young Angie when they visited my new job. And as fellow Tar Heel fans we would have a brief discussion ’bout em Tar Heels. And she would of course ask about my wife and family as I now had 2 sons. And I would inquire about Gary and Angie.

Well as life would have it after her job with Winn Dixie and a short carrier with a rival grocery chain we lost touch for a while, during this time life happened, her husband had gotten ill and had gone home to heaven, her daughter had gotten married and had a daughter (s) of her own, she had sold her home. And my wife and I had our 3rd son. But we still have the occasion to see each other at my job, or do to her last job she sometimes would call me to inquire about an employee and we would take this minute or three (or four or five) to catch up. But fast forward to a couple of years and Face Book we’re once again staying in touch, she’s been my biggest ally in life. She was one of my biggest supporters during my fight during my ‘big C’ scare and she’s kept up with my sons and a big supporter of the now Pastor Dallas and even supporting them during the lost of their 1st born  ( rih ‘our baby Ella’ ). ‘Mama Ann’ has been there for a big portion of my adult life  I could go on and on about the many things that she’s been there for me and I want to personally thank her while she can hear it ( read ). And I know that she’s been there for so many more people, If you’re one of those people I’d like for you to flood her inbox, give her a call, or even pay her a visit if you can just to say thank you for being a true friend and the  Godly woman of faith  that she is we all  love you ‘Mama Ann’. You’re as close to a Saint that we’ll probably ever meet until we get to heaven.

 

Trading places or Training Day?

“Welcome home” that is exactly how I felt this pass Monday morning when I walked into my job.  As many of you know almost 10 months ago I walked away from a job that I had been doing for 20+ years so of course I had to pray and seek Gods wisdom ( and the next wisest person I know my wife).  I don’t intent to go into the details of reasons for my parting ways from a job that I loved up to that point but I’m sure many of you are by now aware that it involved the fact of new ownership and my realization that I was more loyal to the man and not so much the brand. When the impact of knowing that I was actually giving up something that I’d done for so long and was truly happy with and thought that I was kinda good at hit me I had to pause and ask myself “Ron what are you doing”? (even though up to that point I still hadn’t fully committed to leaving).  Did I worry about getting another job at my age starting over? No that thought never entered my mind cause in fact I had started over with the new ownership anyway. What I was more concerned about was walking away from the people here in Lexington and Davidson County that I loved and know so well. Naturally I wanted to find a job where I would not have to give that up so with that in mind the job search begin. Of course the field of fast food restaurant management is wide open so I applied to a few just for the heck of it to see what would happen. In a few days I received an e-mail from a Direct Supervisor from one of the places that I had applied. a few more days passed and I hadn’t returned the e-mail when I received a phone call from him. Ok I prayed God answered how can this not be right? ( well no it wasn’t God himself that answered my email but you know what I mean ) So I returned his call. The interview went well he was amazed that he’d found someone with my years of experience so of course he would hire me with one exception he needed someone to work in Siberia well actually he said Spencer but he might as well said Siberia. So I agreed with the assurance that I’d come back to Lexington soon. Now let me tell y’all, “if you ain’t  never been to Spencer don’t go to Spencer cause you won’t make it in Spencer”. I’m just joking with that I heard that line in a movie once and always wanted to say that, ( but they used the word Ghetto in place of Spencer ).  But seriously though I’m not meaning to bad mouth any place or anybody cause I know that there are people that will read this that lived there and have family there so believe me I get it.

The culture there is different therefore the people are different I grew up in the country so hey my culture is different. When I first got there to work my attitude was that I’m gonna make a difference their attitudes were that they were going to “run me off” because I’d heard that’s what that store was known for running off managers. I was in Siberia, I mean Spencer for 9 months during that time I saw 3 managers quit. And 2 out of 3 of those managers were from Lexington ( mind blown ). I’m really not sure how to access the attitudes, are the employee’s rude because of the attitudes  (not all ) of the customers in that area or are the customers (not all) rude because of the employees attitudes? I think that it was mostly the latter. The first few months there I spent most of my time working in the back of the house, once I was able to finally work up front at the counter and the drive thru I actually encountered some very friendly folks that I will truely  miss and I know will miss me some were actually amazed that there was someone working in the drive thru that was nice ( insert smiley face ). I had a family from the area that lives In Davidson County  that I saw a couple of times while I was there I remember that I hadn’t been working there very long during there first visit and I noticed that it wasn’t a very good experience not due to the rudeness of any employees but due to the fact that being understaffed and the inexperience of a new manager working that day (myself ). Anyway they came back again a few months later and their experience was worse this time due to the fact of being busy understaffed and attitude of a manager on duty I happened to be there that day but was finishing up my shift and preparing to leave. Before they left I noticed them talking to the manager that was working on the front when I walked up I heard her  apologizing and saying that she’d just got there and “yada yada yada”. So before they got in their vehicle I walked outside to apologize myself. They told me how bad it was but mostly about the overall “I don’t care because I just got here” attitude of the manager. One thing that he told me summed it all up in one sentence he said “I told her if it wasn’t for Ron we wouldn’t even come to this “S**t-hole” ( sorry but those were his words not mine ). And that was the last time that I saw them there.

Yeah I’ve finally left Siberia I mean Spencer and I’d like to think that I’d left that store a better place then it was from when I first arrived and you know I really think that I did I did notice that things were a little better but not the way that they need to be for customers to have a overall good experience there. Several employees told me that I would be missed a couple of them told me that they’ll be looking for another job now that I’ve left. Another manager told me that the whole atmosphere in the place changed when I came in to work ( my prayer every day before I went in was “let them see Jesus in Me” ) I can only wish the best for that store and their employee’s there and the people in the area that goes there because it’s the only fast food restaurant near by. I truly wish that I could have stayed  and was able to bring in help to turn this store into what it should be. Anyone that reads this please don’t think that I’m putting down this store or the area because that’s not what this is all about. What I’m trying to relate here is how a person can make a difference no matter who you are or who you’re around or where you are it’s all about you changing them not them changing you. While I’m writing this I can’t help but to think of two movies Trading Places staring Eddie Murphy and the fact that two rich men that had everything and lost it all and left with nothing but were unable or unwilling to adapt to the change. This is my way of saying yeah I was in Spencer but was I able or even willing to change to the ways of the people there? The other movie is Training Day staring Denzel Washington. In this movie an undercover cop has to act and be like the drug dealers and criminals that he’s investigating so in fact he becomes a drug dealer and criminal. This also is my way of saying yeah I was in Spencer but was I able or even willing to change to the ways of the people there?

So no matter if you’re faced with a ‘Trading places’ situation or a Training Day situation, it’s all up to you how you handle it. You can find a way to adapt to the circumstances that you’re surrounded with meanwhile staying true to the person that God made you to be and standing strong in your beliefs or you can give up on your beliefs and become “one of them”. Being different is hard, being “one of them” is easy. Siberia or Spencer it doesn’t really matter, but like Glinda said I’ve had the power to come home at any time all I had to do was to click my heels together three times and say “there’s no place like home” “there’s no place like home” “there’s no place like home”.  Welcome home”.

Wow! I wish that I had said that

Have you ever heard a quote, a song lyric or line in a movie and you say “wow! I wish that I had said that”. Well I have because I use to be a writer in my younger days I would put words together to say something what (I) considered clever. (Notice that I said “I”). I wrote hundreds of poems that a few people have read but many have not. Every time I have a “I wished that I would have said that moment” I think about all of those words that I have written back way back when I was Ronald. Those hundreds of pages some typed some hand written with many grammar errors, and looking back at some of them maybe not as clever as I remember. My first thoughts were to polish off some of those ancient poems and to post them hoping to inspire some young person the way as a young person I was inspired when I wrote them, but then it dawned on me how things have changed since I was young and the things that I wrote about probably hold no interest to today’s youths ( I think that even the use of the word ‘youths’ is no longer used). Anyway what I’ve decided to do was to extract some of the lines and verses that I consider to be “quote worthy” and to let you the reader decide if they’re as clever as I thought they were when I first wrote them many many past moons ago, also if someone wants to read the complete poem that a young inspiring guy name Ronald Banks wrote then I can inbox it to you personally. I may have to do this blog in several parts, I’ll have to see how it goes. So I’ll begin with “wow! I wish that I had said that”.(Ten days after tomorrow) ‘Ten days after tomorrow, I just might shed a tear, but ten days after tomorrow, I’ll still be wishing that you were here.’ ‘You might be asking yourself “Ron who”? But ten days after tomorrow ” Ron who”? will still be loving you’ (Just an old shoe)’Some days I feel just like an old shoe, thrown to the dogs just for them to chew, doing things that I know is wrong, because I’ve been in the closet to long’ …(Bowing out standing tall) ‘You don’t have to scare me expecting me to crawl, I’m gonna leave you alone now, but I’m bowing out standing tall’….(Errors of the mind) ‘I know that I’m a simple man with a simple mind, I’m not smart enough to read the fine print  but I can read between the lines’. (Because of losing you) ‘You know our breaking up lady, it hurt for quite a while, but I’ve picked myself up dusted myself off, and straighten myself out my smile’….(Strangers of the heart) ‘Sometimes you must use common sense, when there’s nothing left to use. And sometimes you’ve got to choose the lesser evils, when there’s only two evils left to choose’…(One of my all time favorite poems that I’ve written)  (Walking in my shoes) ‘Just when I’m reaching for the bottle, to rid me of my blues, that’s when I see my son, and he’s walking in my shoes’…(A fan of country music) ‘Yeah I’m a fan of country music, oh I love them country songs. Now I ain’t got nothing against other singers, but I’d rather hear one from a ‘good ole boy’ like Willie, Waylon, or Jones’…( Something about Maggie) ‘There was a baby in her life, a gift from the man that was called away, but even an unborn child wasn’t enough to make him stay’. Well I’ll stop there here and let you the reader decide if I should continue. It’s been fun going back down memory lane thanks for coming along, let’s do it again. “God bless and as always thanks for reading”.

It has recently come to my attention that the McDonald’s on Winston Rd. has fallen on Dire Straits here of late. This is the McD’s where I spent 20 years of my life, this was a place that I was proud to work at, this was a place that all 3 of my sons got their 1st jobs. And hearing this really hurts me. And I’m sure that it hurts many of you seeing what it has become. Oh yeah there has been many changes with the shopping center the relocating of Jerry Hunts and the seemingly never gonna end road construction work, Even the building itself has went though a  more modern change inside and out (with the installation of the double drive thru). But the biggest change occurred when the former owner decided to sell the business to the present owner.But not even this is the reason for the downfall of the place that I was once so proud to work at, the real hammer that knocked the building off of it’s solidly foundation was the mass exit of the former managers. We can not hold the present employees and managers wholly responsible for all of the major problems within the restaurant. The management team there now actually were dealt (myself included) a losing hand when the former more experienced management team left they took the main tools needed to operate a successful McD’s years of experience and teamwork. No matter how many managers you have working in the store, without experience and teamwork, the business will suffer. The crew will only react to leadership, you’ve gotta have a leader a General someone to lead the troops into battle. Not only do they need a leader, they need someone that has a plan in place for the future battles that they’ll be facing because no two battles are the same (unless the enemy keeps winning using the same tactics over and over again). Then why should they change the battle? But anyway many of you want me back at the 52 McD’s and believe me I’d love to be back, but I’m not crazy enough to believe that I’m the answer. I really would love to help the situation, but like I said it’s gonna take a team of dedicated  managers and honestly I’m not sure that that even exists anymore, one or two maybe, but one or two won’t get the 52 McDonald’s back to the glory that it once was. So please people don’t think that I’m the solution to all of the stores problems, but I’ll be glad to help. But in the meantime come see me at Hwy8! 🙂

 

Growing up Jamie

In a couple of days I’ll be attending a ‘going home’ service for one of the best guys that I’ve known, Jamie Redfearn. Every since I heard the news of his passing  I’ve been grieving and in my grief I’ve been thinking of ways that I could honor his memory. Now if I was a singer I would write and sing a song dedicated to him, but alas I’m not a singer so we’ll have to let someone else do the song writing and singing. I’ve thought about Jamie and all the lives that he’s touched and all of the people that knew him. I was talking to one of those people and we were talking about the fact of how Jamie and I became brothers due to the fact that many people don’t know about and that was though the Social Service, and I said to him “you know it’s not how you come into this world, it’s how you leave it and the impact that you make on people while you’re here”. Thinking about that statement I knew how I could honor Jamie’s memory. By telling the story of the Jamie that many of you didn’t know. Jamie was 6 years old when I first met him, he along with his brother Carl aka ‘Popeye’ aka ‘Crowder’ came to the country to live with us fresh off of the’ mean streets’ of Thomasville NC.  Now I can’t shed any light on what happened in his former life there in Thomasville that caused them to be thrusted  into the foster system but that’s another story and not for me to tell. But the boy that I met that day with all of his processions packed in a cardboard box (like myself a few years earlier) looked unsure of what to expect of this new and strange alien planet called the country that he had been dropped on. Even though he first appeared scared of his new surroundings I soon learned that he was  indeed a scared young boy. If it wasn’t for his big brother being there with him, I doubt if he would have lasted one night there in Linwood NC. But lasted he did it didn’t take me long to realize that  he was an inquiring young fella and despite his scary nature he was quit adventurous and wanted to know about everything. It didn’t take him long to let those that met him know that he was Jamie and you wouldn’t forget him. Jamie noticed that I was always reading so it wasn’t long before I’d taken the task of reading to him and teaching him to read. And after that my evenings consisted of Doctor Suess, The Bernstein Bears teaching writing upper and lower cap letters and adding and subtracting and it wasn’t long before the young kid mastered these. But our summers were filled with chores such as working in the garden plantin’ hoein’ (the garden variety), weedin’ and the usual summer adventures that you can only experience from living in the country. As Jamie got older, he became everyone’s darling time and time again I heard older females say that he was going to be a “heart-breaker” heck, I didn’t even know what that meant. Our life in Linwood became routine school during the week, Saturday we might venture into town where we would visit Aunt Caroline or Aunt Laura or make a trip to Ward’s (the barber shop) where our hairstyle (not of choice) was the ‘home-run’ ( completely bald) yeah bald before bald was cool. Which left us at the mercy for teasin’ but with 4 heads to keep cut Uncle Hal was going to get his money’s worth, ( hint: this was the start of Jamie’s obession for his hair and hair products, yeah he should of had stock in Afro Sheen). Now I can’t mention our weekends without writing about Sundays and going to church at Old Smith Grove cause this is where Uncle Hal and Ant Bessie made sure that we went every Sunday unless we were sick, we went to church and even if we didn’t know it or even care then this is where church got in us.  There’s so much I can write about us growing up in Linwood, but Jamie has already told his story in a book which he had written so it’s not for me to rewrite. I know that some of you may have purchased and read this book but I did not, when I asked Jamie about this book he assured me that it wasn’t something that he was proud of, because he unintentionally made some people look like growing up in this family he was taken advantage of. During our discussion he admitted that he was wrong and that his being raised where he was and what he went though while there actually opened the door to lead him where he probably never would have got the opportunity to end up playing football for Wake Forest University. Because of being in the Foster system and being in this home in Linwood (then) Sheriff Jimmie Johnson took young boys and introduced them to football at the little league level playing and practicing at the Junior Order Home field. From there Jamie went on to play at Central Middle and Central Sr. and like they say “the rest is history”.  So now many of you know Jamie the former football player, the ‘lady’s man’, the entrepreneur, the business man, the husband, the father, the friend, and finally the mighty man of God that has left us way too soon, but have left an impression on those that had the honor to know that little boy that left the ‘mean streets’ of Thomasville NC to come to the little country town of Linwood NC. Hey, it’s not how you come into this world it’s how you leave it. Rest in heaven Jamie Neil Redfearn my brother.

Written and dictated in your memory Jamie. (I will now state an apology to any of  Jamie’s family members that may be offended by my writing of this. For any names that I have used (or failed to use), or events that I have written (in your opinion) that may tarnish his image. Thanks for reading. RonB

The wall didn’t fall

As the doctor stood over me with the needle in his hand,

he said “son when I looked at you 3 years ago, you looked like

a dead man”.

Then he looked at me and said “son you’re a praise report, can

I tell your story?”

I said “yeah and we’re giving God all of the glory”.

Now as I look back to 3 years ago,

If you’d asked me if I was strong, I’d said “no”.

But I’d always been a champion,

If I got knocked down, I’d get up again.

And before they wheeled me to that surgery room, I can still

hear that doctor say,

He looked at me and said “do you mind if I pray?”

My wife my rock she said “no we don’t, in fact we insist”.

I couldn’t ask for a doctor better then this.

He prayed “God I’m just a man,

And I ask that you’ll guide my hands”.

I knew that if these were the last words that I

would hear,

then I would have nothing to fear.

I’ve mixed my faith with those around me, and

we build a wall,

yeah the storms came, but the wall it didn’t fall.

Some bricks were chipped boards were flung to new

destinations,

But the wall didn’t crumble because of it’s

firm foundation.

During those 3 years I’ve had ups and I’ve had downs,

I’ve had highs and I’ve had lows,

I’ve seen some come and I’ve seen some go.

I’ve felt  weak,  I’ve felt strong,

At times I’ve felt as if this earth is not my home.

there were days when I felt I couldn’t go on any longer,

I was reminded that “what don’t kill you make you

stronger”.

So here I am today, I’ve lived to tell my story,

And I’m giving God all the glory.

I consider myself more than just a lucky fellow,

There’s an angel watching over me, “I love you

baby Ella”.